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Thursday, March 23, 2023

Ed’s Many Hats – I’m back (again): Oh! Those resolutions


Here we are on the doorstep of February, the month we look back on all the foolish New Year’s resolutions we made in late December:

Lose weight. Cut down on Merlot. Be a nicer person. Think before putting mouth in gear.

What was I thinking…or drinking? It has taken me 77 years to hone these shortcomings. Why on earth would I think I could change them with the dropping of ball in Times Square or a pineapple in Sarasota?

Seems like I go through this every year with the same results. I guess the definition of insane (i.e. doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result) fits me well.

My December 2015 resolution made sense and was very straight to the point: Don’t make resolutions ever! It worked out fine until last December when I forgot the promise to myself and made the same resolutions I’ve made for 20 years.

Some say your memory is the second sense to go…you won’t remember the first.

I think all four of my resolutions tie together and all could be accomplished by convincing a certain police chief to let me spend a month locked, without any possibility of early release, in one of his cells. I would even offer to pay for room and board while I’m not over eating, drinking and being away from annoying people and afraid if I open my mouth someone will put a foot in it. That alone will make me a nicer person. Maybe I’ll lift a bag of dog bones at Casey’s and get caught. That ought to do it.

How are your resolutions doing? Are they dissolving like a giant snowball in warm weather? Most people my age can’t even remember New Year’s evening, much less their resolutions.

Ed Channell
Ed Channell
Ed Channell has served on many boards, foundations and fundraising campaigns during more than 50 years in Naperville—and he loves feedback. Give it to him at echannell1@gmail.com.