The adage that “it takes a village to raise a child” still rings true—especially when it comes to teens. Adolescents often look to the adults in their lives for traits they admire and may want to emulate. Parents who recognize the importance of positive adult role models can help build a wider circle of support, boosting their teen’s resilience and confidence through life’s challenges.
Extensive research by the Search Institute led to the development of the Developmental Assets framework—key building blocks that help young people thrive as caring, responsible, and productive adults. Among these, one essential external asset is Other Adult Relationships: having at least three non-parent caring adults—such as relatives, teachers, pastors, mentors, or coaches—actively involved in a teen’s life. These connections can serve as powerful emotional buffers and valuable sources of affirmation and guidance.
For Parents: Build a Support System for Your Teen
Parents can help their teens cultivate strong relationships with caring adults by:
- Identifying trusted adults in your teen’s life and encouraging positive interactions.
- Facilitating connections with extended family, neighbors, teachers, and community members through shared meals, volunteer projects, or neighborhood gatherings.
- Modeling healthy adult relationships by nurturing your own friendships across generations and discussing what mutual respect, trust, and support look like.
For Community Members: Be a Kind and Caring Presence
Even if you’re not a parent, you can play a meaningful role in the life of a teen. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) encourages caring adults to:
- Listen without judgment, ask thoughtful questions, and show genuine interest and respect.
- Offer encouragement and support—whether that’s celebrating a teen’s interests or being there during tough decisions.
- Model integrity and empathy—how you behave can leave a lasting impression.
Beyond formal mentorship, kindness in everyday interactions can have a powerful impact. A warm greeting, remembering a teen’s name, asking about their hobbies, or offering a listening ear can go a long way in helping a young person feel seen and valued. These small gestures build connection and contribute to a sense of belonging—not just at home, but within the broader community.
Every adult has the power to be a quiet champion for a teen—whether it’s a coach who offers encouragement, a neighbor who takes time to chat or a librarian who notices a teen’s love of books. Our neighborhoods, schools and communities grow stronger when we choose to show up with kindness and intention for the young people among us.
For more information on youth development programs and research, visit kidsmatter2us.org.
