Did you hear the one about… Tell a joke once in a while. One that makes you laugh out loud.
Sometimes business can be stressful and overwhelming; even more so with polar vortex winter-upting our updated plans. Have a thought, or story or joke available that puts a smile on your face to keep things in perspective.
Hope you enjoy the winter-tainment! Simply begin every bullet with “It’s so cold…”
- Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
- The rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
- You have to open the fridge to heat the house.
- Police tell a robber to freeze, and he does.
- People look forward to getting a fever.
- We had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post.
- Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils and penguins.
- I chipped my tooth on my soup.
- Dunkin’ Donuts is serving coffee on a stick.
- We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
- I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
- Ice cubes are coming out of my faucet.
- Trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
- Cops are tazing themselves.
- I’m thankful for hot flashes.
- Donald Trump’s hair freezes in place.
- I saw a greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
- The ice cubes in my drink have goose bumps.
- Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
- Even the ATM shows minus.
- Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
- Hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs!
- Even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
- The dog sled team needed a jump start.
- We had to chop up the piano for firewood. But we only got two chords.
- Refrigerators are redundant.
- I’m breathing out snowflakes!
- We didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
- Our cake now has icing.
- I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
- You have to break the smoke off your chimney.
- The ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
- I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
- My shadow froze to the sidewalk.
- Dogs are wearing cats.
- When we milked the cows, we got ice cream.
- We had to salt the hallway.
- Lady Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
- Everyone has a stiff upper lip.
- I left Starbucks with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
- I saw Superman taking a taxi.
- I’m shivering like a mobster in a tax office.
Remember, don’t move in snow-motion; use humor and Heat Up Your Sales!
