Here come the holidays! Now is the perfect time to plan for a happier holiday season with your teens. When children become adolescents, they seem to change overnight. Beloved traditions from younger years can suddenly lose their appeal, leading to unnecessary hurt feelings or arguments.
Here are ten ways to reframe the holidays, connect with teens and tweens, and avoid conflicts that can spoil a holiday season:
- Let kids share in the planning for holiday celebrations. Ask them about menus or invites, give them responsibilities, such as running errands or making desserts, and include them in any holiday problem-solving.
- Adolescents want to see their friends as much as they can over the holiday breaks, and that’s understandable. They may even have their own traditions with friends, such as gift exchanges. Be as flexible as possible to let them socialize.
- Be clear on expectations if there are events that are non-negotiable, such as time with grandparents or important family activities. Letting teens know what’s expected (and that their time afterwards is their own) will make the activity more enjoyable for everyone.
- Be open to letting go of or simplifying long-standing traditions – or to doing something completely different. Always go downtown to shop? Try an afternoon together shopping local or making gifts from the kitchen.
- Redefine quality time. Recognize the moments of closeness, gratitude, and fun that are the essence of joyful holidays.
- Spread some holiday cheer by volunteering together for a favorite cause, baking cookies for neighbors, or making cards for nursing home residents.
- Spend some one-on-one time with each child. Share a hot chocolate, hike a forest preserve, or play a game to create more treasured memories.
- Build in downtime. Relaxation in your holiday schedule will create more moments to connect as a family.
- Ask open-ended questions that go beyond the day’s activities, such as sharing favorite childhood memories.
- Encourage positive mental health strategies, such as quality sleep, healthy eating, meditation, exercise, and play with friends or siblings.
For more information on teen mental health, see the KidsMatter website at kidsmatter2us.org.
