Readers of this publication are welcome to imagine PN has come up with a new, cutting edge reader trend/tracking technology and I get to introduce it. It’s called Retinal Word Polling (RWP). Readers simply read the words and instantly RWP tracks/trends the reader’s emotions. For instance, the High Tech demographic is now trending favorably!
I bought Renae a gun safe for Christmas (trending with hunters, but losing wives/girlfriends demographic). My girls admonished me for being such a clod. But after nearly 40 years of marriage, Christmas has become a practical gift-giving experience. What more could we possibly buy each other that we haven’t already? Admittedly, last year’s gift to myself, a ’66 GTO, was not practical, but it still doesn’t mean I didn’t deserve it! (Big jump with the gearhead demo! Still hemorrhaging wives/girlfriends).
I tried to explain it to my daughters, but they didn’t get it. They wondered how I could have possibly won Renae’s heart so many years ago with that kind of Neanderthal mentality. So, I revealed some of my courting strategies.
I described finding her parked car near Old Main, where we both had classes. Then, lying in wait I would casually walk up and surprise her as she fumbled for her keys.
Sophie, my youngest just said, “Creepy,” and added, “Stalker.”
Her boyfriend, who was visiting from London, corrected her, “That’s not stalking, it’s romantic!”
Not sure if he was just trying for points with me, but in his proper British patois, it gave powerful weight to my courting endeavors.
I was shipping out for Navy Flight School in three months; I didn’t have time to waste. After several “happenstance” encounters by her car, a few “bumps” in the Union and Library, I asked her out for dinner on Valentine’s Day. We had previously reminisced about our favorite Highlands School Valentine’s memories and she said receiving Valentine Candy Hearts was her favorite. So halfway through dinner I reached in my pocket and gave her a pink candy heart, with sanguine words, “BE MINE” emblazoned on it.
“Jerry Maguire” wasn’t released for another 13 years, but if it had been, she would’ve have said, “You had me at hello.” We’ll be celebrating our 39th Valentine’s Day this year, and she’s still mine and I’m still hers. (Holy Cow, just peaked with wives /girlfriends demo, but lost all the hunters and gearheads!)
