I recently unearthed a DVD video (yes, I said DVD which now seems so ancient) of “Jack’s Journey.” It is a video montage set to the song “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls. The video and the song stirred up many old memories and feelings of our son Jack’s most difficult time in life and his “coming out” on the other side. It is extremely hard to watch and relive what he went through, so I don’t view it often. When I do watch it, I am reminded of how far he’s come and how fortunate we are, and of course of the hope and love we always carried with us.
The video shows his time struggling with self-injurious behavior, aggression and eventually catatonia due to being over medicated. At the time not much was known about treating autism, and some doctors just wanted to add medication after medication to combat behavior. As it turns out, the medication was only making things worse. Now we know that behavior is communication, which seems so basic, but when you’re in the eye of the storm you can’t see what’s right in front of you and he surely couldn’t verbalize what he was going through or who he was as an individual.
It seems like a lifetime ago and yet just yesterday. Today we know who Jack Wolf is and we are so blessed to know him and love him and so proud of his perseverance.
I wanted to share the song lyrics because it resonates with what Jack, and so many others, must have been thinking at the time. It’s not a song about autism, but it sure could be. It goes like this:
And I’d give up forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later, it’s over
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight
And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know, you’re alive
And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am.
Today we strive to continue to make a path through Turning Pointe so that others impacted by autism can let the world know who they are.
