In one of my favorite old television shows, Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray’s brother, Robert, spent many years searching for a partner, who he called “the one.”
I know how Robert felt. Years ago, I too, wondered if I would ever find a mate. I felt panicky and confused about marriage. No doubt a lot of people struggle with this issue. But what is it we are really looking for? Whatever our marital status – single, divorced, widowed or even married – don’t we all just really want to find happiness?
My search for contentment led me to the conclusion that before I could be a good mate for another person, I needed to make sure I was already living character traits that are important in a good marriage, such as unselfishness, grace, joy and peace. I felt that since these have their source in the Divine, I needed first to connect with “the One.” I turned to the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy, two books which had helped me in the past deal with all sorts of issues.
My study led me to an awareness of God as Father, Mother, Love, and Shepherd–names indicating a loving Creator who helps and guides His creation. I also discovered my relationship to Him as God’s uniquely-loved child, already possessing spiritual qualities, such as courage, strength and affection.
Now, instead of constantly worrying about how or when I would find a partner, I consistently asked God, “Father, show me how to think” – how to be less fearful and lonely, and more joyful, loving and unselfish. It actually became an adventure. I could feel divine Love every step of the way, helping me feel less judgmental and confused, and more peaceful and confident.
I truly found my joy in God and knew I could be happy no matter my marital status because I had found “the One.”
A few months later, I remembered a young widow I had recently met. She too had been praying – cherishing the idea of God’s care for her and her young daughter. I asked her out for Valentine’s Day dinner. That night we knew that God had brought us together. We were married eight months later – 25 years ago.
Realizing your connection with the Divine – your true identity as His loved child – you will find a happiness that lasts.
