While reading PN June, I noticed a small column called “Wit and Wisdom.” It’s probably been there a while but since I normally only read stuff with lots of pictures, I’ve missed it. I don’t know why this one caught my eye. Maybe the word “wit” flagged me.
The column is about “wit and wisdom,” and practical advice that’s been passed down from parents or friends. My Mom, Alice Cleo, had a zillion wits, wisdoms and advices…. mostly plagiarized, I’m sure.
“Don’t cross your eyes, they might stay that way.”
“If you keep playing with that thing you’re going to gouge your eye out.”
“Eat your carrots or you’ll be blind by 18.”
“Early bird gets the worm.”
“Wear clean underwear, you might be in an accident.”
My wise Uncle Archie was the best at the game of wit. Once he said, “Always dance with the ‘good looks’ deprived girl at the dance. No one will cut in.”
He also said, “No matter where you go, there you are.”
Uncle Archie also told me the reason I was so homely was because both my parents were ugly at my age.
All the wit and wisdom and advice I’ve passed on to my kids was original.
For instance, “Either eat those beans or I’ll take you back to the orphanage.”
Or “If the dog gains one more pound because of the food you’re feeding him under the table, we’ll have to put him in the pound forever.”
Or “My paycheck can only support a family of three. Someone’s got to find a new family.”
It’s entertaining and fun to be out with my adult kids now and have them tell stories about stuff I told them when they were young. My daughter said she used to laugh her head off at some of my thoughts. My son, a little more gullible, told me the “orphanage” thing really made him nervous once. They both say they never believed the paycheck story, and they say the dog kept right on gaining weight.