Words, words, words! The word policeman is after me again.
Heck, I can’t even say “Good morning, how are you doing?” in less than a hundred words.
Of course, I always hope folks won’t tell me how they really are because I’m dying to tell them how I am.
I once wrote a column about the chicken crossing the road and it took 325 words. Another time I wrote a piece on ‘egg first, chicken first’ and couldn’t keep it under 625 words. Notice how much I like chickens?
I think all words I’m allowed should be based on a number of letters….say maybe 7 letters. That way a word like ‘a’ wouldn’t be counted as a word until I used it seven times. The word ‘it’ could be used three times before it met the standard.
That would also allow me to use modern day texting words…..like ‘hw r u’? That’s 4/7s of one word.
I’ve often wondered, but was afraid to ask because I’m afraid of the answer. Why can’t I have half a page for my column? That way I could finish my yet-to-be-completed column about what bears do in the woods.
Someone count the words….how many do I have left?
One of my upcoming columns will be a glowing report about how much I love my editor and what a wonderful person she is. I’m purposely making it at least 800 words long. It’ll be interesting to see if she cuts any of my adjectives, nouns, adverbs or dangling participles.