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Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Ed’s Many Hats – Breaking house rules


Words, words, words! The word policeman is after me again.

ed_hats_phone_bwBy PN house rules, I’m supposed to limit my column to around 250 words. That’s almost impossible for someone like me who has sooooooo much to say.

Heck, I can’t even say “Good morning, how are you doing?” in less than a hundred words.

Of course, I always hope folks won’t tell me how they really are because I’m dying to tell them how I am.

I once wrote a column about the chicken crossing the road and it took 325 words. Another time I wrote a piece on ‘egg first, chicken first’ and couldn’t keep it under 625 words. Notice how much I like chickens?

I think all words I’m allowed should be based on a number of letters….say maybe 7 letters. That way a word like ‘a’ wouldn’t be counted as a word until I used it seven times. The word ‘it’ could be used three times before it met the standard.

That would also allow me to use modern day texting words…..like ‘hw r u’? That’s 4/7s of one word.

I’ve often wondered, but was afraid to ask because I’m afraid of the answer. Why can’t I have half a page for my column? That way I could finish my yet-to-be-completed column about what bears do in the woods.

Someone count the words….how many do I have left?

One of my upcoming columns will be a glowing report about how much I love my editor and what a wonderful person she is. I’m purposely making it at least 800 words long. It’ll be interesting to see if she cuts any of my adjectives, nouns, adverbs or dangling participles.

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Ed Channell
Ed Channell
Ed Channell has served on many boards, foundations and fundraising campaigns during more than 50 years in Naperville—and he loves feedback. Give it to him at echannell1@gmail.com.