Words, words, words! The word policeman is after me again.
By PN house rules, I’m supposed to limit my column to around 250 words. That’s almost impossible for someone like me who has sooooooo much to say.
Heck, I can’t even say “Good morning, how are you doing?” in less than a hundred words.
Of course, I always hope folks won’t tell me how they really are because I’m dying to tell them how I am.
I once wrote a column about the chicken crossing the road and it took 325 words. Another time I wrote a piece on ‘egg first, chicken first’ and couldn’t keep it under 625 words. Notice how much I like chickens?
I think all words I’m allowed should be based on a number of letters….say maybe 7 letters. That way a word like ‘a’ wouldn’t be counted as a word until I used it seven times. The word ‘it’ could be used three times before it met the standard.
That would also allow me to use modern day texting words…..like ‘hw r u’? That’s 4/7s of one word.
I’ve often wondered, but was afraid to ask because I’m afraid of the answer. Why can’t I have half a page for my column? That way I could finish my yet-to-be-completed column about what bears do in the woods.
Someone count the words….how many do I have left?
One of my upcoming columns will be a glowing report about how much I love my editor and what a wonderful person she is. I’m purposely making it at least 800 words long. It’ll be interesting to see if she cuts any of my adjectives, nouns, adverbs or dangling participles.
