Candyce Krumwiede, a former Naperville resident and pre-school teacher who moved to South Carolina several years ago, is now the grandmother of a pre-schooler. Saturday morning Krumwiede posted a letter sent to her via social media titled “Written by a Pre-School Teacher — It Says It All!”
Krumwiede added, “All the young mothers need to read this article and take it to heart.”
The message reminded us of many conversations with our longtime friend, Bev Eigenberg, founder of Creative Nursery School more than 30 years ago.
Eigenberg retired two years ago and closed her nursery school that gave many Naperville youngsters a great start as they were prepared to enter kindergarten. Her unconditional love for nurturing the differences of every individual child she ever encountered continues to resonate along with her slogan, “Childhood is a journey, not a race.”
Eigenberg always provided the youngsters in her school with opportunities for age-appropriate community service projects that taught the importance and joy of giving to others who might be less fortunate.
As school is back in session again, many parents and early childhood educators are mindful of what today’s children need and what they might not need as they experience the classroom for the first time.
Written by a Pre-School Teacher – It Says It All!
I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year-old did not know enough.
“What should a 4-year-old know?” she asked.
Most of the answers left me not only saddened, but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on.
Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only three. A few posted URL’s to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.
It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn’t. We are such a competitive culture that even our pre-schoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood shouldn’t be a race.
So here, I offer my list of what a 4-year-old should know.
She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn’t feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats six legs.
He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvellous. She should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more worthy.
More important, here’s what parents need to know…
That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
Read to and with your children
That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children “advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90 percent of our children’s toys and they wouldn’t be missed, but some things are important– building toys like Lego and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.)
They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too– to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it’s absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
Be a parent
That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids.
Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That’s not okay!
Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night.
Our children deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work.
Children deserve to know that they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.
—Written by a Pre-School Teacher
Thanks for reading.
Note: A special place that celebrates early childhood learning is the DuPage Children’s Museum. “Raise your play IQ” by DCM educators is a featured column every month in print and online, always highlighting the value and simplicity of play as well as the child-parent relationship.
