This month I’m remembering to put the disclaimer right up front before I reminisce. In other words, do not try any of these things at home without consulting your physician.
Back in early 2007, when I was a mere lad of 67, I wrote a column on “senior moments” where I addressed misplacing keys, eyeglasses, shoes, wife and car. I received many responses telling me not to worry because senior moments come with age. However, my friend Dr. Mary Ann Bobosky told me she cured her problem by taking Ginkgo Boloba twice a day.
I’m a AAA-type personality, so when my trusted physician of more than a decade, Dr. Glen Grobe, told me two wines a day might be good for me, I figured if two glasses were good then four would be better. Mary Ann told me to take Ginko twice a day, so I adhered to her advice but doubled the dosage. She neglected to tell me it was a blood thinner and I failed to remember that she is not a medical doctor.
About a month into my Ginko project I blew my nose one morning and hit a gusher. Kathy took me to Edward where a doctor stuffed a bath towel up each nostril and told me to leave them for five days. It’s not easy learning to breath through your ears.
I thought my memory was bad back then, but now it’s degenerated so badly I am forced to use extreme and innovated ways to find things. I now have a pair of glasses in every room of the house. I always leave the car key in the ignition. I always park the car near a light pole or some other easily distinguishable object. I always leave my shoes in the bathroom sink and I bought Kathy a watch with a traceable GPS device built into the mechanism. I never ever leave home without a written description of where I’m going and what I expect to accomplish while I’m there.
I still have run-of-the mill problems like walking into a room and wondering why I came, or going out for the paper and instead of picking up mine I get the neighbors because it’s the first one I come upon. I’ve even brought Tim’s garbage can and mail to my house a time or two.
It’s tough being an old kid!