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Naperville
Friday, March 29, 2024

Transitions – Adoption day

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April, 28 years ago, we adopted our youngest daughter, Caryn. It was among the first open adoptions in the state. Open adoption was new enough that we had to go through a thorough vetting to see if we could handle the process. Our baby was a month old and her birth parents, along with their mothers and the social workers, joined us in exchanging vows as she joined our small family of three.

Adoption is an ancient arrangement with varying degrees of concern for the child. For centuries adoptees were sometimes used as indentured servants, but starting in the 1930’s social workers decided that adoptions should be closed for privacy – “to protect mothers from shame or blackmail, children from knowing of disturbing acts surrounding their birth – incest, rape; and to encourage the use of adoption instead of neglect or child abuse”. Research Etc. Investigations.

I don’t remember any adoptees when I was growing up, probably attesting to the secrecy, but after we adopted Caryn I heard from several adults who were adopted. The most surprising was a prominent reporter who found out he was adopted when he asked for his birth certificate as he was getting his recently-deceased father’s death certificate. This parental betrayal was devastating and he felt burdened to have to confront his grieving mother.

The story of stolen children adopted by Americans as portrayed in the emotional Judi Dench film PHILOMENA, highlighted the adoptions of over 2,000 children basically stolen from unwed Irish women and sold to American families. The Irish government has given compensation to the surviving mothers.

I’m thankful we were given the option of an open adoption. Not only did we add Caryn to our family – her birth mother’s family is our own extended family.

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Barbara Blomquist
Barbara Blomquist
Barbara Blomquist is a Naperville resident, wife, mother, quilter, and screenwriter. Contact her at BWBLomquist@aol.com.

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